I very much appreciate you taking the time to kindly pop in
with this reminder. While writing out my fantasy, I had a feeling that a lot of
trans women would find it very familiar.
A while ago, I started posting about my feminization
fantasies online, and the general response from a large group of individuals
was very similar to yours: “With all due respect, you may want to explore your
identity a bit more and understand your options. You may discover something about yourself, and that could be a huge weight off of your shoulders.” And don’t get me wrong, I
completely understand why. Especially in the past few years, people have tried to be very encouraging toward trans individuals to live their lives openly.
That being said, while a large number of trans women (and allies) have been supportive of me to consider my options, a smaller group of men reached out to me, as well. These men
ran the gamut of different orientations (straight, gay, bi, what have you), but
they all had something in common: a secret desire to express their
feminine sides that they all felt a little dirty or “wrong” about. They didn’t identify as women (nor did they identify as
“sissies”, a term which can get annoying when talking about this sort of
thing), but did feel that there were traditionally “girly” qualities that they
wanted to release.
These men felt shame in their desires because they didn’t
really have a title. They weren’t trans (of course, it’s entirely possible that some may discover that they are, and this is merely their first step on that
journey), they weren’t sissies, some of them weren’t gay (which, unfortunately,
our society would be able to accept easier), and many of them felt that their
fantasies went beyond the term “crossdresser”. In a society obsessed with
labels, there was really nowhere for them to go.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching, and while I understand
that the fantasy lines up perfectly with identifying as trans, I know that I’m
not. That said, I also know that, while this started off as a fun little kink, it’s obviously expanded beyond that. I don’t identify as a woman, nor do I feel deep down that I should. But there is a very feminine being inside of me that needs to escape every once in a while. What does that make me? In all actuality – and with all the respect in the world to people who do feel more comfortable with labels – I don’t know or really care to know.
I often point to @cute-blue‘s “Voluntary Feminization” series when people ask about my femininity. While I’m unsure if they intended these comics to make a statement or not, the fact is that “Voluntary Feminization” presents a world in which men of any and all orientations can wear women’s clothing and act in feminine ways while still happily being men. Side characters often have a lot of questions about “Well, but what ARE you?”, and the answer is often simple: “Who cares?”
I remember @hypno-bunny once mentioned how fascinated she was by the fact that I always saw my feminine self as being kind of punky and bad-ass as opposed to the traditional “pretty, girly, pink ribbons and glitter” type of look that a lot of stereotypical sissies aim for. And I think it’s because, whereas sissies get off on the idea of being feminized for degradation purposes, the femininity inside of me is literally another part of me. And the more I write this (again, I’m just figuring this shit out as I go), the more I realize that my female side is almost a direct response to the patriarchal limitations bestowed upon me. Guys can’t wear womens clothing without being called a “faggot” (that word is EVERYWHERE in the sissy community), and quite frankly that pisses me off. So you better believe that I would channel my anger and frustration into a give-no-shits woman who would rather wear ripped jeans, a baggy hoodie, and dark red lipstick than a frilly dress designed for the male gaze.
Very…almost unnecessarily…long story short, I think that it’s important for every man who’s had my fantasy to consider the fact that their sexual orientation or identity may be different from what they currently know. At the same time, I think that it’s equally important for everyone to acknowledge the fact that labels aren’t for everyone, that the patriarchal society we live in does effect everyone, and that guys should be able to express their feminine desires without feeling dirty or pressured.
Now, ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, what you said about hormone therapy and proper pronouns being rad options is 1,000,000,000% true! And if you’re reading this right now and you think my feminization fantasy may resonate with you on a much deeper, physical level, then it’s important to know and remember that transitioning WOULD be rad! It’s also a very permanent procedure, and the lines between being trans, having a fantasy, simply being gender-fluid, or having a female persona living alongside your male one aren’t always clearly defined. Do your research and do what would make you most comfortable!
Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope I answered your question in those ten absurdly long paragraphs haha.