I normally just delete stuff like this but let’s do a little deep dive.
I actually played around with anons on my sub blog for a while out of boredom and I learned a few things, things I’d likely forgotten.
First of all, sometimes it is fun, I’ll admit it. The problem is, you have no idea when it will be fun.
If you send someone a message, you don’t know if they’re going to read it right after a long, horrible, day of work, or if they’ll read it after edging to their favorite video for half an hour.
They’re two completely different mindsets to be in when you receive something like that.
Now, assume your target has been edging, they’re horny, excited, and you send them something as an invitation. How well do you know them? How well do you know what they’re thinking right that moment?
Maybe they’re watching something really chill, they could be in a super passive mood, watching a lovemaking scene. Then you send them some hardcore abuse porn that they had talked about last week and it shatters their mood.
The problem is, the internet allows anyone to just reach out when they’re horny and not always thinking straight.
“Well I’m horny, lets see if this person is as well.”, isn’t the best way to start most conversations.
Don’t get me wrong, if you have a standing agreement with someone, if that’s the type of relationship you’ve got with them, more power to you. But anons or first impressions, not so much.
You’ve all seen screenshots of people who in their first message are trying to seduce, dominate, analyze the person they’re messaging.
It’s like throwing a dart at a rapidly spinning board with millions of places to land.
If you want to play with someone that’s totally fine. Maybe you think they’re cute, maybe you’re into their mind, you’ve got similar kinks to what you’ve seen on their blog/profile.
It’s 100% okay to be interested. Here are some pointers.
Actually read their blog/profile. I can’t tell you the number of times a guy has messaged me and called me Mistress.
If they have an FAQ, definitely read that.
Consider that whomever you’re chatting with, what you see it a small slice of who they are. Most people don’t live in their kinks.
Think about what you want to chat about before you actually hit send. What is some non-sexual common ground you may be able to discuss? Don’t just say “hi” and expect them to float the conversation.
Ask questions, respectful questions, not “what’s your cup size” unless you’re planning on shopping for a bra later.
Get off anon. No one is going to go very far with a grey face because there is nothing there to work with. Anon is great for asking for advice, asking for curiosity, all that, but it’s rubbish for conversation.
Remember even casual relationships thrive on information. Share of yourself as you ask them about themselves. Eventually if they’re interested they’ll starting sharing and asking as well.
These are just some tips on approaching someone. I’m not a professional, but this has always worked for me.
The people on the other side of your screen are real people. Always remember that.
Today I was reprimanded, completely totally reprimanded.
I had done something at my workplace that I thought at the time was “getting the job done” a case of “no-one else will do it so I will do it”.
Let me explain, I work in a place where people volunteer their time, I’m a paid employee. Unfortunately for me I have seen that as I need to be grateful and do not only as expected but more That’s how I have been since I started working there almost 9 years ago.
There were some things in storage under the building. 2 grown men stood beside me and although the items were needed decided it was too dirty and too spidery looking to go in and get them.
So in my skirt and heels I climbed under the building got filthy dirty, brushing the spiderwebs out of the way and dragged each of the items out. I was helping right? Doing my job?
I told @prostatorgasm and received the longest, biggest lecture I have ever received from him.
Included were the following phrases….
“I may call you My Slut, but you are ALWAYS a lady”
“You need to STOP if they can’t do something then they need to pay the appropriate person… that is NOT you”
“You put yourself in danger, you could have hurt what is the most precious thing to me….. YOU!”
“I know that you think I have to keep you safe from others but I actually have to keep you safe from YOU”
“You think I’m upset? Damn right I’m upset you could have been hurt”
During his reprimand, I didn’t realize but I closed myself up, made myself small and held myself…. kind of hugging myself.
He said to me. “I see you, I see you going into the fetal position, trying to protect yourself, I see you building your walls… let me tell you everytime you do I will dig underneath and drag you out”.
For the first time in my life I have the following:
Someone who truly loves me.
Someone who cares about me more than I have cared about myself.
Someone who is prepared to stop me from endangering myself.
Someone who is prepared to reprimand me for ALL the RIGHT reasons.
Someone who considers that I am worthy of being respected by him, by others and by myself.
And someone who will see my walls and will stop and dig under.
The ropes made it impossible to even try and reach your pussy. No matter what position, he decided when it would get touched. It was his property now and when he parted your legs and exposed you, you finaly realized.
That is correct. Because there’s this lovely thing called the prostate, or as I like to call it, Nature’s Little Pleasure Walnut. Think of it as the male “G Spot.” Smart girls know that if their guy’s ardor is flagging, all they have to do is hit that sucker and he’ll be popping a boner a 19 year old would envy.
A very good anatomical point @instructor144 -Senpai. However I would also hesitate to add that ANY sort of play, involving any type of person or any part of your body, does not DEFINE your sexuality.
Enjoying a bit of sodomy between friends now and again no more indicates a man is gay then covering his penis with chocolate makes it an Éclair. In addition, a woman who happens to enjoy another woman during a full moon would not be considered a lesbian by most men here unless the lady says otherwise, so why the double standard?
Haven’t we evolved past the need for narrow definitions and terms, here more than anywhere?
Short rounded nails. Tease and massage the area (anus and root of the penis) to relax the muscles with mouth, tongue, fingers. Before penetration, lube is helpful. Go slow. THIS IS NOT A RACE. Ease in with the nail bed facing the back, pad of finger towards belly. Curved relaxed finger. You will find TWO sphincter muscles. The first one is the obvious one at the anus. The second is further in, but before the P-spot. Again, slow and easy to allow for relaxation and accomodation. Once you slip past muscle ring number two, you’re looking for a patch of tissue similiar to your own g-spot. That’s the backside of the prostate. Now comes the most important part….
Open your mouth and COMMUNICATE. Ask for feedback. Vary pressure. Try the come hither motion. Try tapping. Try circling it like a clit. Keep asking. Keep talking. Pay attention to his body language, not just his words.
You didn’t learn your body in a day. So don’t expect magic your first time. Practice and keep communicating.
You can add in external massage of the prostate too with pressure behind the balls (the good ol’ ass ball connection).
Do not assume that p-spot stimulation alone will bring orgasm. It can sure as Hell make his cock cry precum though.
When he’s ready, add in direct penile stimulation of choice (other hand, his hand(s), toys, wands, lips, mouth, or a helpful friend, whatever works).
Lower your expectations and enjoy the learning until you have your technique for him dialed in.
On a personal note, OH FUCK I LOVE DOING THIS!!!
Solid how-to. ^^^
When in the fuck did liking anal suddenly make a dude gay? Did we all forget women can finger an ass the same way they can anything else? Also, with this logic, does that mean a girl who prefers oral to penetration is a lesbian? Someone that enjoys cowgirl is secretly into bestiality? People that like missionary are suddenly Christian missionaries?
Guys, please use a lil common sense with your statements.
Uie's Cage 