instructor144:

dreamiedaddy:

That is a really good question. The safe word is to only be used for something when you are in a lot of pain and you can not take it anymore, or when something is about to happen that is bringing you to the point of it pushing you beyond your limits. Those are the main 2 situations that you should use the safe word for.

So you need to march your butt to him right now and tell him you are sorry for mis-using your safe word and that you realize it was wrong of you. Also that you are ready to take whatever punishment he thinks you deserve from mouthing off and for mis-using the safe word. I am sure he will be very proud that you come clean and admit you were wrong and ready to accept your punishment(s). 

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UPDATE:There has been several misconceptions about my answer to this ask. Since many people are misinterpreting what I meant by my answer, I am updating this to clear them up.

I answered this based off the very limited information the anon provided. The anon never said they were scared, or in pain, or am having anxiety, or they never even said they were being pushed beyond their limits in any way.

Therefore my answer is in the context of the anon using the safe word to only avoid from being punished. What I mean by that is imagine a scenario like this….

Submissive: breaks 1 of the rules that was mutually established between themselves and with their Dominant.

Dominant: Gets ready to punish them (any kind of punishment).

Submissive: Calls out safe word.

Dominant: Stops the punishment and asks the submissive whats wrong.

Submissive: They say nothing, but they just didn’t want to be punished.

*They both continue about their day*

Submissive: Breaks another rule.

Dominant: Goes to punish the sub again.

Submissive: Calls out safe word again.

Dominant: Stops from any punishment and asks whats wrong.

Submissive: they say nothing but just didnt want to be punished.

*Now imagine this repeats EVERY single time the submissive breaks a rule. Every time, and every day. Only using the safe word as a tool to get out of punishment, so they can break as many rules as they want whenever they want.*

That is the the context in which I answered this ask based off the very limited information the anon provided. The anon even literally asked and I quote “Ish it Oki to use the safeword to get out of a punishment?” They didn’t say because they were pushed beyond their limits, or because they were having anxiety, or because they were in pain, or because they felt uncomfortable, or any other reason. There was absolutely no reason given except… And I quote… Just only “to get out of the punishment.” That’s what they asked, so that is exactly how I answered it.

Ask any professionally paid dom or domme if they would ever take a client or continue a client who uses the safe word every single time for any and every punishment just so they can just break all the rules they want. Most of them are going to say no way, because that’s unsafe and stripping the very serious meaning from safeword. It is not something to be used jokingly.

Using the safeword every time to break any rule any time is abuse of the safe word and is the same thing as crying wolf. Also just to be clear anytime the safeword is used the dominant should stop every time. No where did I ever say it should be ignored under any circumstance.

I’m in agreement with this. Using one’s safeword for no other reason than simply to avoid punishment is bullshit. I’m always preaching that “the safeword must always be respected.” But respect for the safeword has to be on BOTH sides of the slash, otherwise the safeword – and hence the relationship – is a joke.