And the first time it happened was like 11months into being intimate with him. And even those were kinda lame. He was touching my clit so hard and even the orgasms weren’t that enjoyable. Problem is he thinks he’s fantastic in bed.
99% of the time we have sex goes like this: kissing, 1-2 minutes of foreplay, then penetration. It won’t go in at first since im nowhere near ready. Hurts. And then sex that really isnt doing much for me if not hurting. I have been dropping hints
It’s never about making me feel me feel good. We never try to get ne off. He says he loves to go down on a girl yet has only done it to me for a total 35 seconds in a year. He’s a really sweet guy and is really sensitive. I don’t know what to do
He knows what I’m into. Ive given him a step by step run down of how to give me an orgasm, because he says he wants too but it hasn’t changed anything. More than anything it hurts emotionally. The sexual frustration is nothing.
It makes me feel like an object, a walking fleshlight. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by being harsh but subtly hasn’t worked. I love him so much. I really don’t know what to say anymore. Tried to bring it upthe other day and it failed
I really want to enjoy sex. I want to try edging with him so bad. He’s the only person I have been with and we are pretty comnitted. Really sucks thinking i never had nor will ever have satisfying sex
This is what you’re going to say:
‘Baby, come and sit down, we need to talk. There’s something I’ve been trying to tell you for a while and I just don’t think you’re getting the message, and I don’t know what to do.
I love you, but this is killing me, and we need to do something about it
What is it?…
You’re really bad at sex.
No, I’m not kidding. Do I look like I’m kidding. I know, you think you’re good, but listen to me, you are not. I’ve tried being subtle, I’ve tried bringing it up before, but it’s reaching the point where I just have to be blunt about it so we can make things better.
See how this guy describes having sex? THAT is what I need, not always, not even most of the time, but at LEAST sometimes.
So here are some new rules.
I cum first. Yep, every fucking time (I’m kinda into this thing called orgasm denial but we’ll get to that once we’ve got it working right in the first place).
For now, sex hurts, because I’m not ready for it, so rule 2, I cum before you even get to fuck me, and if I’m still not feeling ready we can use some lube.
So besides making me very happy here’s some reasons why you want to do this. If I’m excited about sex, and enjoying it, I’m going to want to do it more, a lot more. Unlike you, the MORE I fuck the hornier I get.
And again, if I’m happy and horny there’s some really kinky shit I’m going to feel like exploring that we haven’t even got near yet because we’re still stuck on the first floor. Yes honey, that’ll probably include fucking my ass – god you guys are predictable, that’s cute.
So, what do you say? Shall we get good at sex together?’
Keep those tits well exposed in a very inviting way, or strangle herself.
A kind word of reality warning: This scene can be classified as a kind of endurance bondage. Her back and arms will eventually get tired, and then she need to get her neck chain slacked. In commercial shots there are spotters to step in as soon as a sign is shown. Remember this for your own play to have an happy ending.
the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that
1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;
2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.
i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.
the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.
i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”
eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.
when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.
sexy, he said.
that was all i wanted.
i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.
mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.
Some seem to find it much easier than others. For many though, with some practise, you’ll find there is a zone of super heightened arousal where you know just a bit more pressure or speed would take you over, however you’re just able to handle what you’re doing and stay on the edge.
Others find they can get to that point, but then have to drop back, so for them ‘riding the edge’ is more about bouncing up and down to it. And that’s fine, but if you can reach and stay on that pinnacle it’s something pretty special.
So again, practise is one of the two keys. Have some time where you’re not to bothered if you go over, as in, it’s fine, you’re focused on learning to ride the edge rather than fixedly wanting to not cum. if you go over, that’s life. You can’t expect to learn how to keep on the edge of something without sometimes falling over. If you can, make it a ruin, it’ll keep you horny and help you get back to the edging faster. What you’re not allowed to do is feel guilty. This is about learning, and having fun.
The other key is BREATHING. Stop holding your breath! You need to be using slow steady breathing to ‘exhale the pleasure’. Trust me, it just works. You will almost always have cum with a big breath taken in or holding your breath. Work on edging while keeping your breath more calm and measured and you’ll be amazed how it can stop you from tipping over.
Finally, with both of the above, I seem to see a ‘mental fortitude’ develop over time where you just become more confident in your body and the strength with which you want to not cum. Don’t underestimate the power of that. It’ll build up by doing the two things above but also, just going for it sometimes with a powerful vibrator and realising just how much mental control you have of the process too. Best done with a friend, who will hold the vibe on you even if you go over to post orgasm torture you as a punishment if you fail.
Yep, fucked up, but hot as hell too. And fun, lots and lots of fun.
I hope some of those help. I encourage followers to add their thoughts and experiences of riding the edge in the notes.
Uie's Cage 